First they found bin Laden.
Now they found Whitey Bulger.
Waldo, you’re f-ed.
“Hypnotize” by Notorious B.I.G., though a groundbreaking hip-hop song, will forever be burned into my brain as the song that made a 12-year-old me ask my mother what a ménage à trois was.
Big ups to Biggie for that special family moment.
Extra thanks to my middle school’s sex ed program for ill-preparing me for rap lyrics.
I’ve always wanted to have a pet monkey. Maybe I wanted to be The Man in the Yellow Hat and have Curious George as my friend. So, several years ago, I adopted a monkey from the Lincoln Park Zoo.
Below is the e-mail interaction with a person from the zoo. Diane never did get back to me and answer my questions. I just hope my monkey is OK…
____________________________________________________________________
—–Original Message—–
To: Brian Vabulas
From: Michelle <xxxxxx@lpzoo.org>
Subject: ADOPT ORDER
1 Happy “Howler” Days A. D. O. P. T. with t-shirt (A6) (Adult X L) at
43.95
each = 43.95
SUBTOTAL: 43.95
TAX: 0.00
SUBTOTAL: 43.95
SHIPPING: 0.00
TOTAL: 43.95
—– Original Message —–
From: Michelle <xxxxxx@lpzoo.org>
To: Brian Vabulas
Subject: RE: ADOPT ORDER
Thank you for your a.d.o.p.t order. Please allow at least eight to ten days for processing. If you have any questions please contact Diane XXXX at (312) XXX-XXXX.
—–Original Message—–
From: Brian Vabulas
To: Michelle <xxxxxx@lpzoo.org>
Subject: Re: ADOPT ORDER
Michelle,
I had a few questions regarding the Howler Monkey I have recently adopted.
Firstly, what does the monkey’s diet primarily consist of; such as bananas, carrots, celery, and various meats? Second, what is the monkey’s average life expectancy? The reason I ask is because one of my co-workers adopted a monkey and it died of old age, his name was Jolly Bo Bo. This being a point of concern, I was wondering what is the age of my monkey? Next, what types of shots are administered to howler monkeys? Any type of information you can provide me will assist in the care given to my monkey. Also, approximately how large of a habitat is necessary to house my monkey (e.g..what is his/her height, weight, can he/she chew through wood, etc.)?
Finally, what time and date will I be able to pick up my monkey? Please address these questions and provide me with any additional information.
Thanks in advance for all your help, and I look forward to providing a loving and healthy home for my howler monkey!
Sincerely,
Brian Vabulas
—–Original Message—–
From: Michelle <xxxxxx@lpzoo.org>
To: Brian Vabulas
Subject: RE: ADOPT ORDER
Brian,
I have passed your questions on to the a.d.o.p.t. program coordinator, Diane XXXX. She will research and respond within a couple of days.
She can be reached at (312) XXX-XXXX for additional questions. You are aware Brian that your money goes toward the feeding and care of the animal at Lincoln Park Zoo. You are welcome to visit our Primate House to see the Howler Monkeys on display. I always find it interesting that some a.d.o.p.t. parents think that they will be able to take the animals home and care for them. This is not possible and not in the best interest of our animals.
Thanks.
Michelle
Thank you to everyone who came out and supported us over the course of our run at Second Stage! Here’s one of the performances from that run.
Enjoy!
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